However, about five years ago I realized that I was getting way to comfortable in my rut. I craved rhythm and routine in my life and was becoming even more of a control freak than I normally am. I made a conscious decision to try to correct the fact that my sphere of comfort was getting smaller and smaller,
I wanted to try new things and spend less time worrying. Writing tends to help me sort through what is going on in my head and get to what is in my heart. Often, since that time, my curiosity and common sense seem to butt heads.
Some notable instances: I tried escargot and sushi. I liked them both. I began to learn gluten free cooking. There were some things I made that were less than...um...palatable. One time even the chickens wouldn't eat it...
I took a sewing class in Syracuse New York. I had never traveled by myself, much less gone that far away. Turns out that the teacher, an elderly nun, forgot to pick me up at the airport as scheduled. Common sense told me one thing, but curiosity told me something completely different, so...after calling the woman and getting no answer, then standing around the airport for an hour feeling forgotten and pathetic, I got a cab and found my own way to the retreat site where I sat in the driveway for two hours until she got there. What an experience!
Trying to break into teaching in the crafting world has been a constant war between curiosity and common sense. I've asked, offered, and made cold calls to different shops locally seeking opportunity. I've been on the receiving end of cold looks, rude remarks, and out and out blank stares. Four times I have been scheduled to teach and ended up with no students after I spent weeks preparing. Once it was not my fault, once I bowed out gracefully, but twice it was as much due to my lack of knowledge of modern self promotion as it was to the owner of the shop (which has since been closed)...and that was before the experiences I have had teaching for Joann.
I came face to face with the fact that although I was making my living as a graphic artist, everything I did was created with a mouse and a computer program and I was loosing the hand to eye coordination needed to draw with pencil and paper...so I began to sketch again. I now post my sketches and doodles on Instagram at jackiezbeme. My common sense says not to risk the potential for negative comments, but my curiosity leads me in a different direction.
Much of what I am attempting to do professionally requires an internet presence, something that hasn't come naturally to me. I'm a fairly good amateur photographer but learning to take photos that appeal to the modern aesthetic (not grandma pictures as someone called some of my early attempts) has meant retraining my eye. Figuring out how to produce YouTube videos has been another challenge. One of my videos has a less than stellar 14 views, but another has over 500 hits! Far from viral but a good beginning.
I just threw away a drawer full of patterns I was asked to design for a quilt shop about an hour away. Yes, I dumped them in the trash. I was tired of feeling pitiful because what I had hoped to be my big break into the craft world had ended up being a big bust. Now I choose to feel grateful that I was smart enough to get out of the deal before I lost any more money and she claimed any more of my designs.
I've learned to .pdf patterns and write tutorials, but the learning curve for operating an Etsy shop or a web site of my own has yet to be conquered. I keep at it though.
All I can say is that each day I try to make a conscious decision to reconcile curiosity and common sense in an effort to manage risk yet still expand my horizons. I can only handle this delicate balance when I choose to look at what I learn instead of thinking that I risk ridicule or imagining how things won't end well.
So. Today. Journal about a time when your curiosity get the best of you and how you dealt with that.
Happy journaling.
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