At times, though, I can't seem to control the track.
It is difficult to describe what happens but I'll try. Imagine a television that has hundreds of channels to choose from. Sounds wonderful until the channels begin to constantly, incessantly, chaotically change. The TV works, the picture is astounding, BUT the channel keeps changing, even (especially) when I want to settle on one thing. Something inside screams to just make it stop flitting from channel to channel, but, when I get this way, even if I CAN find the remote control I can't seem to make the buttons work.
Call it adult ADD, life, or give it any other title you choose, when I get this way I am absolutely miserable. I can't seem to focus on anything else but my misery.
So I journal.
I was fortunate to have amazing English teachers and I know enough grammar to be dangerous, but when I journal I don't require myself to do anything but write. I don't care about spelling, sentence structure or anything else. I simply write (or draw) whatever comes out. Sometimes I vent, sometimes I list, at other times I jot down a quote from my morning prayer or meditation book. I've even journaled on a blank screen in a word processing program.
Structuring my one track mind via journaling seems to help control the chaos.
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